Friday, February 17, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BITCH


So what do you get the bitch that has DONE EVERYONE?

What did she say?


When she’s asked if she would trust Paris Hilton with her boyfriend, she responds, “Oh my God, no answer! No answer!” via:Gawker.com

BREAKDOWN?



Say it ain't so...Nicole on a flight home... wasn't her usually happy, cheery, bug-eye sunglass wearing self...We like to poke fun when someone is still rockin' on top, but like with Natasha Lyonne, we won't kick you if you're down...You ok, Nicole?

Literally, the DIRTIEST Sex Tape Ever.



Why do they let celebrities buy video cameras? The lastest sex tape that is set to launch, will now feature KID ROCK and Creed's former front man, SCOTT STAPP. Red Light District, the company that brought you the now infamous ONE NIGHT IN PARIS, has gotten their hands of the grimey footage from a "third party". It was apparently taken on a tour bus with groupies, six years ago, when the two were on tour together. IMDB.com reports that the two guys are talking to each other throughout their explicit sex acts...is that what staight men who want to sleep together do, have sex with others while making eye contact with each other, and talking throughout the deed?

Halle is Still Paying for Catwoman


Harvard Theater Troupe's legendary HASTY PUDDING AWARDS, has named Halle Berry their woman of the year. But, before she could claim her prize she acted out scenes from her Oscar winning film, MONSTER'S BALL. Even more impressive, they made her write on a chalk board 4 times, "I WILL NOT MAKE CATWOMAN 2"

"She's Out of My Life" NOT!


Michael Jackson's "ex-wife" Debbie Rowe got her wish. A California court has given her the restoration of her parental rights. Basicly, it's as if she never signed off as the kids mother. She now will have all the rights of a biological parent including pleading for custody and other parental rights. I just hope with this turn of events, no one dangles anymore babies.

Supermodel is still a SUPER DIVA


Naomi Cambell has lost another assistant, again a cell phone was involved but this one wasn't thrown at anyone and she didn't beat the hell out of her. Before even getting on her London-LA flight, people overheard Naomi freaking out, and then she turned to her assistant. Apparantly some dresses didn't get to where they were suppost to go, so Naomi freaked out on the assistant. The ASSistant then sceamed, "I QUIT". Page Six reported that then,"Passengers complained to the stewardess, who was going to get the pilot, when they stopped their screaming match. Then they didn't speak to each other for several hours." Why whenever Naomi needs some press she feels she must do it at the cost of making everyone on a plane feel uncomfortable and out of place? Can't she have a PR moment in a club like a civilized celebrity?

Thursday, February 16, 2006

She's come undone...and she's fallin' apart.


Madonna had a hernia operation last week. I guess that is why she wasn't fully extending those kicks at the grammy's? She's 47 so I'll give her a break this time, because she's liable to break something else sometime soon. She underwent a "minor operation" in LA last week and she's already fully recovered, just in time to attend the Brit Awards in London. She picked up the award for International Female Solo Artist.

Another Club Bites the Dust


Page Six reports that NYC nightclub SUEDE is dunzo! Saturday night they will close their doors forever. Let's all say, "AWE", in unison. The place hasn't been hot in about a year. It was a hangout for skanks and celebrities on their slummin' it days. Past clientele apparently was Leo DiCaprio, Cameron Diaz, Lindsay Lohan (who will go anywhere she can get a vodka-tonic for free), and Marky Mark...Guess we're gonna have to go pay our final respects (if something better doesn't come along-better as in a rerun of SNL?)

OH...NO


According to IMDB.com, Paris Hilton is up for the role of a lifetime? She is actually in the running to play the beloved MOTHER TERESA? What? The catholics will never let it happen. However, the director of the biopic, T. Rajeevnath, has offered her the role. He told the guys at MTV.co.uk that, "My agents in California have contacted Paris Hilton. Although there are several actresses willing to play the role of Mother Teresa, the most widely respected and loved person, the history of the actress who is finally chosen for the role would have to be analyzed thoroughly before she is chosen." WHAT?

This is totally a publicity thing, it has to be. Especially if they are going to analyze the actresses, do they not know about her prior film work in "ONE NIGHT IN PARIS"?

AmeriCAN'T Idol


Some of the American Idol secrets are starting to surface, and basicly they won't allow anyone on AI to become a star without their consent. There is almost no way for a kicked off contestant to now become the next WILLIAM HUNG (thank God). TMZ.com just released this little tidbit:

"...the "exclusivity" clause that season five contestants have signed. It basically paralyzes contestants from doing anything showbiz related until three months after the grand finale. The contract prohibits contestants from entering into "...any talent management agreement, talent agency agreement, recording contract, songwriting contract, acting contract, modeling contract, sponsorship contract, or any merchandising contract ....until three months following the date of the first broadcast of the final episode announcing the winner of the competition."

They do mention that they can request written permission from the AI producers if a lucritive deal happens to come their way, oh...sure.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

THIS JUST IN



Paris's coke ballon explodes everywhere!
real story below...

It's just acting...right?


Apparently at the Oscar luncheon, photographers wanted photos of Heath and Jake together. While Jake was completely willing to pose, Heath refused. After several attempts, Jake just told everyone that if they wanted to see the two of them together, go see the movie. Heath, we get it, you don't like boys. You are just lucky because before Brokeback, the last movie we actually enjoyed seeing you in was 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU...unless you include the time you killed yourself in MONSTER'S BALL.

PETA hates Paris too?


I saw this on another website:

Socialite Paris Hilton has become the latest target for animal rights group People For The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) - literally. The Simple Life star was ambushed by an anti-fur activists last night as she made her way to a London Fashion Week after-show party with designer Julian MaDonald, after modeling at his show earlier in the evening. But PETA protestors weren't after Hilton - they were out to attack Welsh MacDonald for his "relentless use of fur." In a show last autumn he even draped a baby fox fur around the neck of Jade Jagger. He and his society guest, Hilton, were pelted with flour as they made their way to his late-night party. PETA Europe's Yvonne Taylor says, "Julien MacDonald may have been able to ignore images of bloody skinned animals gasping for breath in the past, but hopefully a dash of flour will help him rise to the occasion and forsake fur once and for all. IMDB.COM

I want to throw something at her too.

DICK CHENEY WILL KILL YOU!


How do you want him to do it?

Who's the Boss Now, BITCH?




Katie Danza is smokin, literally! Tony's little University of Miami spawn recently had photos published of the chica with friend in a car, doing their best impressions of Lindsay Lohan. Guess Angela was the boss...

SPLIT?



Enough, everyone keeps asking if Tom and Katie are broken up. I think they were never together in the beginning. I've heard some juicy rumors about Tom's past trysts but I can't say much yet with TOM's LAWYER on the prowl handing out lawsuits to anyone who says TOM's just a big bowl of QUEER BAIT. Here is my biggest question: IF NONE OF THE RUMORS ARE TRUE, WHY ADDRESS THEM? Vin Diesel has never fired back, nor Richard Gere. However, this whole LIFE AND STYLE cover is shit. They are unreliable, Estrella and myself are better fact checkers. They are still "TOGETHER". Check out these past covers that they ran, that turned out to be completely false. I wish I could get the role of a lifetime.

THE NEW HOTTNESS



This ain't Walmart. The Olsen twins are basicly Hollywood Royalty. They are the originals when it comes to building an empire based of being a celebrity, Diddy and J.LO only wished they could be as powerful as these girls. With their Walmart lines of clothing, accessories, bedding, and etc, every girl in the midwest owns at least one thing from their collections. The furniture and home goods lines are still doing well. They most recently bought into the Cali based bakery chain, SWEET LADY JANE'S, where they are planning on being very hands on with the goods. Now they are expanding their empire to include make-up that will be carried at CLAIRE'S. With all that going on, do you really expect these girls to find time to eat? Well, now they even are doing their first ad campaign for a product they don't own, BADGLEY MISCHKA has scored the twins for their new sping print ads. They look pretty good, and notice the junk in Ashley's trunk, the good kind.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

She Needs Something to Stay Alive...


Nicole Richie is giving NYC a BIG FAT (I mean, tiny small) HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! She will be toting around free Diet Dr. Pepper for all the lucky people who are going to be at one of these locations today...

11:30 am -- Sampling Stop #1 at Astor Plaza (8th & Broadway)
12:45 pm -- Sampling Stop #2 at 3rd & 6th Ave

I bet she will come out, say hi, toss some cans, sign some autographs, and then go back to her hotel room where she can binge on air and water...Seriously though, would you take advice from someone her size on what to consume? That is like taking work out tips from Jared (the SUBWAY guy)

OH...NO.


Here is a vintage pic of Paris and Pammy with the cast of RIZE...how fucked up is Pammy?

Robert Redford hates Paris Hilton?


Maybe hate is a strong word, and he could have mentioned anyone's name when saying this...but since Paris is sadly the #1 celebrity around, he used her as his whipping girl. In an interview with Newsweek, Robert Redford states his unpleased route that his film fesival is taking.

“To the outside world, it’s a big fat market where you have people like Paris Hilton going to parties,” Redford told Newsweek. “Now, she doesn’t have anything to do with anything. I think the festival is close to being out of control.”

Ok, I understand that you don't like Paris, but she does have two movies coming out this year... In addition to that; celebrities like her give Sundance the publicity it needs to stay afloat...and maybe he is just bitter that his movie with the other media whore, J.LO, didn't do so well?

THIS JUST IN


Sometimes it better to cover up a little...
keep telling Ashanti that.

Who is still watching this?


Judge Judy just celebrated her 10th year on television. Who is still watchin this show? When is it on? According to the Associated Press she has 10 million viewers daily. Please leave a comment, tell us about the last time you watched the show...

PS...Wouldn't it be rad if she started only doing shows with celebrities as the defendents...like, let's see; Heather Locklear and Richie battle it out on her show, or even better to have Brad and Jen duke it out on who gets the houses, and let Judy read them both...

Don't Call It a Comeback...yet.


Britney has been letting us down for about 2 and a half years now, and EVERYTIME she starts to do well she fucks it up. Let's discuss how she dashes our hopes and dreams of becoming the next Madonna.

First she releases IN THE ZONE, which came out strong--helped by her duet with Madonna.
Then she crapped on it with her quicky marriage in Vegas.

Then she promised to be bigger and better than before on tour. She had this Onyx Hotel tour with ads on Showtime, and we thought, "UH, OH LOOK OUT BRIT'S BACK"
Then she hurt her knee, got better, gave a shitty performance for her live tv concert.

News came out that her next single that she dropped would be the R.Kelly produced track Outrageous, with a cameo by Snoop Dogg in the video.
Then she busted her knee again, and cancelled the remains of her tour dates, the video was never even finished.

Then we thought ok, she is going to lay low and rehabilitate.
BUT NO....She had to be photographed on the beach with this new guy, K-FUG...

We all thought awe Brit has found love since her big breakup with Justin.
Then we found out the guy was already attached to MOESHA's Shar Jackson...he was a baby daddy already (a few time over). To make matters worst he was jobless, and had a baby on the way.

Then she dropped her remake of Bobby Brown's, My Perogative, and released her first scent, CURIOUS...we thought, ok she's back...
But it was short lived bliss, she was photographed barefoot in a gas station bathroom, She got married to Kevin (who walks around with this strange sence of entitlement). Got preggers, which dashed our hopes of a clean break with K-FUG.

There was a reality show in the works that was suppost to help us like her again, and introduce us to the new man in her life. Like good friends we decided to give them a chance and watch.
It was on UPN, enough said.

Now most recently, she got our hopes up with an appearance on Will and Grace.
But, Quickly she killed the dream, because literally less than 2 days later, she's photographed doing her, BIGGEST FUCK UP EVER, driving with her little boy on her lap in LA.

Yesterday they released news of Brit spending Mardi Gras in New Orleans (her home town), she is going to be there. She's teaming up with GOOD MORNING AMERICA to suprise some of the locals and she's been quoted in saying, "I am honored to be a part of the Mardi Gras celebration in New Orleans this year. It is so important for this amazing city to continue its annual traditions and I am really looking forward to being involved."

BRITNEY, IF YOU ARE OUT THERE, DON'T LET US DOWN TIME!
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